Last week I went on a bit of a rant about NYE resolutions, and how if you are happy with life just maybe keep things as you are. But in it I mentioned about how if there is something you are unhappy with, try to identify it and make a change or changes to help solve that unhappiness.
One of the biggest changes I have made to my life was to try to understand and improve my relationships with people, and re-focus away from possessions to people. This helped bring me a lot of peace, although it wasn’t easy and I had to make some hard choices along the way. One of the hardest was leaving my old job. I had grown up so much at that company, starting as a snotty 22 year old straight out of university. I had also invested far too much into the company, giving them too much time and personal commitment, which I now believe I was using as a way to avoid real relationships with people, preferring to be needed because I was useful rather than wanted because of who I was.
Once I had resolved some of the issues of my personal life, the weight of work started to become unbearable; by being no longer a crux it became a burden. One thing I knew was that I had no real opportunity to progress – by being useful I had made myself a role I couldn’t escape, and by being loyal I reminded senior staff only of the 22 year old girl who they had first employed. In short, I was trapped in a job I didn’t like.
So I started to make a plan. After some research I settled on doing an MBA, which is a Masters in Business Administration. Generally these help you jump up a step or two on the career ladder, and perhaps open some doors that might otherwise be closed. However they are also horrifically expensive and extremely competitive. Which meant two things – actual hard work studying for the entrance exam, and raising some serious dollar dollar.
My original plan was to stay at my old company until Sept’17 when I would start the MBA, but having moved to London and being reluctant to rent out my spare room to a stranger, I realised I needed more money and a 9-5 job close to home (to allow study time). So I went job hunting; it was as cold and brutal as that. 6 weeks and some significant trauma later I was in a new job. After 9 years I had ripped the plaster off all in one go. It hurt like hell to leave people behind; I had good friends and felt part of a group of people with similar experiences and worldviews. But I also knew it had to be done, and that those people I wanted to stay i contact with I would.
I pushed on with the MBA plans, and now I due to start at CAMBRIDGE (!!!) in September. I managed to hit my target to be able to pay for the course and living costs entirely from savings (although I will mainly be eating beans and possibly have to sell a kidney before the end), and my new employers have been extremely supportive and kind.
So what I’m trying to say is this; find the thing that gets you down (if there is one, there might not be in which case awesome), focus on it and only it, then make a plan. And then stick to the plan, even if some of the things you have to do hurt A LOT. Maybe you’re fed up of being single, but you just want to lose a bit of weight before you start dating. LIES. You don’t want to lose weight, you want to avoid being rejected because it will hurt like hell. Or you find displays of affection excruciatingly embarrassing. Just go on a date. Next person who asks or shows interest, or go online to meet someone. Make every step about getting a date; obviously don’t settle for some nutjob weirdo, but also don’t reject that kind of nice guy who asked you for coffee but you don’t think you have chemistry with. In short, just go out and do it!